… :C

Really tempted to listen to this Daft Punk leak, but not sure if I wanna listen to it in such poopy quality…

and my eyes won’t stop burning

and my tummy hurts

and i still have food to eat before i go to bed

wahhh

o;efoiaefawed

daenerysiloveyousomuchitsnotevenfunnyomgarigharweigoh;erog

STOPIT

Back from the dead?

Sorta…

Moved back into Canterbury, computer was working perfectly fine the morning of that day. Unpack at uni and it just wouldn’t boot up or anything. Narrowed it down to the motherboard being the issue/probablydead. Which means I have basically buy a whole new computer cause my CPU series just isn’t supported anymore and I refuse to buy second hand PC parts :C

Perfect timing to die just before my exams…

Luckily, I have my laptop but that just decides to work whenever it wants to and not when I want it to!

Not really sure if I should, nor do I particularly want to spend so much money on a new computer, ya know? Still gotta think about it :/

and then there’s just general busy-ness with friends, gym and a Zooey look-a-like.

If this laptop doesn’t sort it out then I’m just gonna go back to revising and shiz. I bet I missed out on a crap ton here. Dunno if I can be bothered/have the time to work through all this tumblr! :|

Demotivated, demoralised and destroyed.

This past week I’ve been having these intense dreams. It’s weird, they always involve certain characters of my life and it’s never anything nice. A few of them have been interesting and whilst bad I could still take it, but today’s one was so emotionally draining. I woke up in sweats and I just couldn’t bare getting up. It was incredibly upsetting when in all seriousness, when I think about it, it really shouldn’t be. But this one has really got to me. It took me ages to actually pull myself together and get out of bed. I usually wake up super early to go the gym but after getting up I could barely motivate myself to even leave the house. And when I did I ended up doing a below average workout. It’s like all the work I’ve put into pushing myself the past few months have gone to waste, I just couldn’t do anything.

And I’ve done nothing all day, haven’t even packed for tomorrow. What a horrible day.

It might be because I’ve practically had zero social contact with anyone this whole holiday. I’ve spoken to a few friends occasionally, but it was different before compared to now. The holidays I spend home tend to bring back all these thoughts and feelings at a much higher rate than usual. Maybe going back to Canterbury will be a good thing seeing as I’ll have friends to spend time with everyday again. The weird thing is, for the first time I’ve actually come back for a holiday, I’ve become so accustomed to living back here. The other times I’ve come back I would always want to go back asap. Now I sort of…Don’t want to? Other than having to go to work, I’ve quite enjoyed my daily routine (other than this god damn past week). 

What am I even supposed to do about this? I can see these dreams just getting worse and worse. As if I have enough to be stressed out about I’ve also got my exams coming up in less than a few weeks now.

I really don’t like this. Hopefully things might get a bit better from tomorrow, only thing I can do now is just go to sleep now and wake up early and do what I can. 

Went to my first English wedding today. It was kinda weird because, well I didn’t even know anyone there! It was my mum’s work friend who was getting married. I also had to devise a quick suit up as the only shirt I had was a black one I wore for work, since I didn’t bring any of my smart shirts back to London with me. Luckily I made it work with that grey waistcoat/blazer I have, so the black didn’t look to overbearing…ya know…wearing black…to a wedding…not the best of ideas… :| The white tie helped too. But yeah, had to go the the church and they wanted us to all sing these hymns and everything, and the amount of standing up to then sit down to then stand up! But it was nice to see them together at the end. I think if I knew the people getting married it would of felt a lot more special. 

And then there was the reception later on, which was meh as everyone was basically really young children or older adults so I didn’t really mingle as much as I wanted too. Seemed like everyone was in their own groups and stuff. But forget the people, I WAS ON THE LOOK OUT FOR FREE FOOD.

WHICH THERE WAS

BUT

it was pretty poor

So I ended up having tuna sandwiches and these prawn spring roll type things?

There was this girl in a red dress though, who looked OUTSTANDING. butshehadaboyfriendwhowaspracticallygluedtohersoididntevengettotalktoherwah

I’m just sad I didn’t go to the gym today. I dunno if I can go tomorrow as I think I’m going out for the day :’(

Also, Running Man is honestly the most legit show ever. No episode has failed to leave me in stitches after laughing so much. I don’t even think I’ve laughed so hard at a show before either! I even showed my mum it and she loved it too! 

IT’S JUST SO GOOD, IT’S UNBELIEVABLE. 

breakfastat6pmwhatamidoing

Went to bed before midnight. BEFORE MIDNIGHT, A FIRST THIS YEAR. Didn’t sleep till 4am. It was so hot, and guess what why. IT’S WARM IN BRITAIN. REAL WARM. AND THEN I LIVE IN A STUPID ASS LOFT TOO.

I ended up having a crazy dream about me getting redundant and my manager crying, she also didn’t really explain what was going on but she handed over a crap ton of cash to me :|

Then sometime later I ended up owning a mouse (as in computer mouse, not an animal mouse) which was weird. I, for some reason went to some internet cafe place or something and asked how much it was worth because it seemed valuable? Guy offered me $20 (Dollars. Why was I in America?) and said that the mouse is actually worth $600. WHY DOLLARS. And then other people caught on to what I owned and thus began people chasing me down to kill me. So after a beating up a bunch of people to make sure i didn’t DIE FOR A STUPID MOUSE, some guy gave me a good offer and I told him to back me up first with all these other people and I’ll sell it to you after. I lost him somehow and don’t remember how I escaped all that.

ALL THIS FOR A $600 MOUSE, WTF.

But then I ended up getting caught in ‘infuriation’ again and I was apparently bad enough to make people upset? Like they were crying and everything and I just didn’t understand? Was this over the mouse or something?! LMFAO

I then woke up before I could really ever find out. 

All because I overslept. AND WHY CAN’T PEOPLE UNDERSTAND THEY HAVE TO CALL ME TO WAKE ME UP.

TEXTS DON’T WAKE ME UP :’(

sdfgasgsrhsryjtukuyil

Infuriation.

The fact that I can’t escape it in my sleep anymore is actually starting to worry me. How long am I supposed to keep this up for?

“Let me tell you something you already know. The world ain’t all sunshine and rainbows. It’s a very mean and nasty place and I don’t care how tough you are, it will beat you to your knees and keep you there permanently if you let it.

You, me, or nobody is gonna hit as hard as life. But it ain’t about how hard you hit. It’s about how hard you can get hit and keep moving forward. How much you can take and keep moving forward. That’s how winning is done!

Now if you know what you’re worth then go out and get what you’re worth. But ya gotta be willing to take the hits, and not pointing fingers saying, you ain’t where you wanna be because of him, or her, or anybody! Cowards do that and that ain’t you! You’re better than that! “

Jack, do you remember what day it is tomorrow?

Slow tumblr day?

Caught up in minutes flat :|

GAME OF THRONES TIME

You know the state of your laziness when you can be bothered to get up early to go to the gym but procrastinate eating your breakfast for like 3 hours, EVEN WHEN YOU CAN HEAR YOUR STOMACH GROAN AND MOAN.

what’s wrong with me

i just cba with some things

Ahem. I’d like to thank my family and friends for this prestigious award. Bishes be jelly. Get on my level yo #mylife